Fish Avenue

When I was in school, I did good in exams, people would say that "oh, you're lucky".
When I was in college, I did well in exams, people commented "well, you were born smart".
When I met Andrew, we became an item, people told me "you're lucky to get him".
When I started my job in an MNC, people said "you're lucky to work in that company".
When I got another job in a small company, people congratulated me "you're lucky to get a job now".
When I bought my first house, people said "you're lucky to have your first house at this age".
When I got married, people reminded me "you're lucky to have married him".
When I travelled places, people again told me "you're lucky that you get to travel around".

Were they all because I am lucky? Did I have the lucky star on me all the time? Have I not had a single bad moment? Isn't Andrew lucky too to have married me? Isn't that sales person lucky too when I bought the house? What about all my hardwork? Does being lucky just wipe away all the hardwork I have ever done? Do people just see how lucky I am instead of how hardworking I am?

I keep all this in my heart. I thought being said "you're lucky" was a blessing. But how about my hardwork?

I did well in school and college, I didn't study hard, but I studied smart. I could finish my studies in one week before the exam. I am smart? Yes, I am smart in picking what is relevant to study.

Well, I must admit now I realised I am lucky to have met Andrew. Well, have they ever thought that if I chose someone else, would I be considered as lucky then? If I chose not to marry Andrew, would I be lucky then? I am lucky to have married Andrew because that is my choice. I chose to marry him because I love him. I chose to be lucky, not because I am lucky. Get my point?

My job in an MNC, that wasn't my first job. My first job was in hometown, brother-in-law helped me found it, it lasted 3 months. I was so underpaid, the boss didn't appreciate my advanced diploma in a college. I was treated as some kind of data-entry clerk. But towards the end of that 3 months, my boss changed her attitude towards me. Why? Because I bloody fought for her attention and appreciation. I drafted letters for her and she started giving me new tasks. She even tried to persuade me to stay when I resigned. But I ain't gonna stay there, I know I had to fight for something more for myself. Now, would you still say I was lucky? I god damn fought for what I deserved.

That job in MNC, I got it through a job agency. It was only a 6-month contractual job, I could end up without any job at the end of the 6th month. I took the job still, I didn't have much choice, did I? I still had to pay my rent and I did not get pocket money from father anymore after I started my first job. Again, I was treated like a clerk. Something happened. The agency told me I was there to help on the payroll, but when I got in they told me I was supposed to help doing the data-entry ONLY for their new system! I wasn't pleased. I know by doing only the data-entry, at the end of 6-month after their system was up, they wouldn't want me anymore. I spoke to the manager and told her I supposed to help on the payroll, I fought for it. Finally, they decided to let me try doing it and also data-entry was still part of my job scope. Nobody knows I fought for all this myself. I got a permanent job there at the end of 5th month, because I performed well beyond their expectations. Was I lucky?! No! 'Cause I fought god damn hard for it. I worked hard for it. I worked till 8pm or 9pm for everyday, sometimes even till 11pm. Now you tell me, was I lucky?!

I got out from that MNC after 2 and a half years. Why would I leave such a big company? Well, I didn't get appreciated anymore. I couldn't learn anymore. My superior fought hard for my remuneration, but the management just didn't appreciate what I did. I left. Got a job in another big food manufacturing company. That was the darkest moment in my working life. The working environment, the job, the system, the boss...... Everything was so wrong in there. I didn't see it during the interview. One week into the job, all I was thinking was "get the hell out of this place". I know I made a mistake of rushing. I told myself I shall never repeat that mistake ever! Again, I put myself up in the job market. Got my current job after 1 month! Was I lucky? Yes and no. It was all my choice. A friend advised me to stay put. But I didn't listen, I chose to move on. I know I deserved something better than that. So I moved on. Do you know changing a job so frequent actually leave bad impression on myself? I chose wisely then. My boss was kind enough to still want to interview me and listen to my story. I am in this company for almost 3 years.

I bought a house last year July together with Andrew. Was I lucky to have a house at that age? NO! I have known people that have their own house at an age way too earlier than me! Both Andrew and I worked so hard to buy that house. We were pinching around for money for the downpayment of the house. Those are the things that other people don't see.

I got married last year. Again, people said I'm lucky to get married and I am lucky to have Andrew as my husband. Why? Because he is nice? Everyone's husband is nice. Do you dare to tell me your husband is not nice? If he wasn't nice, why would you marry him in the first place? My goodness, I just don't understand why people said I'm lucky to have married him.

I love to travel. Andrew and I have only been to overseas for once, that is Hong Kong, in year 2005. Oops, and Singapore too, in year 2006. Other than that 2 countries, we travel locally. Am I lucky that I get to travel around? No. Both Andrew and I are willing to make the effort in making it happened. He is willing to adjust to my time, and I am willing to adjust to his schedule. We do not go for luxury travelling, all we want is to escape from the city once in a while and just relax. Is that lucky too? I have seen a lot of people travelling more frequent than us and farther than us.

I bloody work hard to make everything happened in my life. You can still say I am lucky. I do not mind. But please do not forget and wipe away all the hardwork I have done. I know a few people would do that, they just like to think I am a lucky a**.

Why bother what other people think? Andrew would have said that. I am not bothering. Just want to spit it all out.

Now, let's count my blessings. :)