Fish Avenue

Can't believe that this is my 100th post since I started blogging last September!!!
Can't believe I can do this for this long.

About married life, I seriously do not feel any different. Ok, the only different is now I have in-laws and I spent my first ever Chinese New Year's eve without my own parents. Other than that, life as usual.

However, my boss has been telling me that I am stressed with married life. I am puzzled. I do not know what made him think so. He saw me kept falling sick after my wedding, he said the pressure from my married life weakened my immune system. Hahaha. I wonder how true it is.

Anyway, I still feel happy as usual. It is not just the married life, I have other things in life that worry me too. My job especially. I am happy yet unhappy at work. It's complicated. I do not know how to describe the insecurities I feel. It is stable, yet could be unstable. It is challenging, yet could be boring. The deadline for my tasks never end, one after another and overlapping each other. When people asked me, "time is bad, why are you still so busy? Furthermore you're in HR, there shouldn't be a lot now." I simply replied, "I still need to do what I have got to do despite there is any business or not." I can't explain what I am doing. I just can't. I know what I am doing, but when people asked what I am doing, I just couldn't find the words to describe what I am doing.

To them, HR is merely payroll, salary, interviews and trouble-maker. They forgot that HR administers, initiates, retains, hires, fires, trains, solves, feedback, counsel, advises, communicates, calculates, thinks, plans, acts, changes, amends, improvises...... From top management, right down to junior clerk, everything involves HR. They do not know. They will never understand. HR has another nickname, "the dumping ground". Whatever you do not wish to do, just dump it to HR.

Guess everyone has their own frustration at work. Think I'd better stop here, or else you might feel that I'm just another whining queen. HA!

Other than my job, it's my future, my plans. I have plans for other things. But it seems that I just can't make any progress. I'm making very small steps slowly, so small and so slow that I am running out of patience. Do you know how it feels when you're feeling impatient with your own self? I hate that feeling. I want to do more but I just can't!

I know my laziness is part to blame. When I have free time, I meet up with friends instead of putting efforts into my plans. I enjoy being with friends. Perhaps I'm a bad "juggler". I can't juggle well with so many things at hands.

Hmm...... I still can't get over the disappointment of no-bonus.

Someone please give me a bear hug.