Fish Avenue

It has been on my mind since some time ago. Friends told me I'd better not tell this to those people afraid that they would misunderstand. But it happened over and over again and I feel very tired to explain again and again. Friends told me I do not have to explain, just let it be. But those people just wouldn't let me go. They keep asking me for a reason!!!

Anyway, after calm down for a while, I do not wish to explain it now. Like they said, "Ashley, just let it be. We do not have to explain every damn thing we do". Yep, that's what I'm going to do. Come ask me for anything, I'm not gonna reply to those questions. Keep it cool. I can't control what they think, it's up to them to think whatever they like.

Moments ago, someone said something to me which again messed up my thoughts. I am now sad and hurt. She is telling me I hurt her too. Guess we're all equally hurt, no one is more hurt than the other! I feel sad someone could just misunderstand and then pushing the responsibility back to me. Looks like the responsibility is all on me for asking friends out, inviting all the friends out, gathering...... I am now officially the "organiser" for friends gathering. I do NOT want that. I am not the organiser everytime among friends.

I call friends out and if they're available, they would say yes. If they're not, they will tell me very frankly they're not free to meet. No offend taken. Obviously someone out there think I HAVE to be the one inviting just because she is tired of inviting. Well, won't I get tired too? I am tired too. I used to be calling other friends out and they didn't even make the effort to come meet me. What could I do then? I moved on! Now I have new friends, I make the move to call them out again. But I am not the organiser. They will make the effort to meet me. That's what it takes. The effort. We can't expect return in everything we do, Andrew said. Now I hold on to that belief tightly.

I don't expect friends to treat me nicer. I just hope they would not hurt me as bad. Well, guess it's something that is difficult to get. I still get hurt once in a while. I bet now I can take it very well after all I've been through. I gotta be a stronger person to move on instead of dwelling on the past and what happened which made me sad.

See, after blogging, I am happy again. I am a stronger person again. One lesson learned, no offend taken.

Now I'm gonna take a shower, dress up, go for a movie with Andrew, to cheer up and make myself happy. Soon, the day will be over and tomorrow is always a better day to look forward to.

Ashley is always a person who knows how to treat herself right and be happy again. Happy go lucky that is. Cheer up Ashley. The shopping mall is awaiting you! Hahaha.