I am on medical leave today. Woke up this morning, felt lazy and there was this annoying headache/migraine again. I've been having migraine on and off for about a month. Sometimes it lasted the whole day, even the painkiller would not work, and the next day I would still wake up with the migraine.
Today, decided to go to see doctor about it. Of course, for the MC too.
Doctor was asking me if I sleep well at night, do I wake up in the middle of the night and starring at the ceiling? Nope. I did not wake up in the middle of the night and starring at the ceiling. But I do wake up around 5am or 6am in the morning, thinking that I am late for work, scared myself to death to find out that it is only 5am or 6am. Also, used to wake up to think about the jobs that I have not finished and how I should go about it. Doctor said, "you're having the symptoms of depression and anxiety. Are you sure there's nothing bothering you subconsciously? Your work, your life? Go back and think about it and find it. Relax, nothing's so big deal, don't get yourself so stressed up." LOL!
I don't know. I seriously do not know what is bothering me. My work, well, I guess everyone is stress about their work. So, that's normal right? There's been a few things happened at work recently. Also, I'm a bit frustrated with myself for not achieving what I wanted to achieve. Hmm...... Come to think of it, did I give myself pressure unawaringly?
About anxiety, yeah, I am always anxious about not doing things right and on time. My heart will skip a beat when I heard the person from the other side of the phone is my boss, I start thinking about what I've done wrong whenever my boss calls me to his room, I feel nervous whenever I see I have emails from my boss...... But it's all for nothing. Sometimes they're just some small matters, nothing about reprimanding me or chasing me for my work.
Well, it all could be due to me sleeping late as well. I've been sleeping late. Surfing the net, blogging, Facebook-ing, MSN-ing with friends...... Sometimes I watch TV till late night. But I noticed I hardly read now. I've been buying books but I'm not reading them. There's this one book which I read since last year April, I stopped reading it since last September! My goodness. Andrew said I'd better stop "loving" my lappie so much and get some real rest.
Guess it's time for me to change my lifestyle.
Just to share something I've heard from someone. Someone told me that if you're suffering from depression you should go out and meet more friends to stop thinking about the bad things. LOL! I guess depression doesn't happen when you don't meet friends. It happened to me still when I am meeting friends and having hell lots of fun with my life! Hahahaha...... Also, I do not think about all the bad things. In fact, I am pretty optimistic about my future. I just want to laugh so loud everytime I recalled what that person said about depression.
Guess depression happens when you least expect it. The most important thing is, do not give yourself pressure unnecessarily. I've got to tell myself that from now on. Things do not happen the way I want them to be is not my fault. Yep, life goes on. Be happy, why worry.
Ok, I'm off for some TV and reading now. Ciao!
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